Family Protrait

One of the most popular questions I get asked being an au pair is: What is it like to be on the side of someone else world? (paraphrased)

Because I am doing just that, I am a fly on the wall in someone elses life... I am in their family but not, I see all and hear all from an inside perspective but as an outsider. Its quiet strange to see how people act but then to hear how they persieve themselves. This blog has come about because like I had mentioned earlier in the week Sara and David are on holidays which makes my job useless... you would think, or I would at least hope and not even for my own personal sake.

This week granted they are doing a lot of fixing up around the house but they still seem far to busy for the girls. Sara has said on many occasions that she hope the girls grow up to be a well rounded person like I am, which I took as a tremedous complement however sadly I know already even though they are only 3 and 7 that this will not be the case. Certain things that I once took for granted as a child and even as a adult I appricate so much now. For instance other than on a weekend when I am not around I have never seen Sara or David sit and have dinner with the girls. I am responsible for feeding them even if either of there parents are home, which is always the case on a thrusday or friday because they alternate working those days. The second example that baffles me is that occasionally when either of them or BOTH of them are home, I still am asked to put the girls to bed.

Now, Sara and David are both very smart people who have a lot of success in thier careers and they both work very hard to be where they are. I just find it extremely sad that the girls are the ones who suffer... no matter how little Olivia respects me or appricates what I do for her I still end up feeling sorry for her, because she knows nothing different than how it is.

Sometimes in conversation Sara will discuss how she raises the girls and how she punishes them etc., and I just stand there listening in awe because what she discribes and how she acts are two totally different things. I do not believe in how they punish or don't punish the girls behaviour because the girls get away with things they shouldn't and as the au pair when I try to take action its ignored because Olivia and now even Bell have learnt that they can get away with almost anything with numorous warnings. Olivia says to me all the time that she likes when Im away because they she doesnt have to follow my rules... and thats one of the reasons I hate working when the parents are around because my word means nothing because they know that mommy or daddy is in the other room and will save them from punishment.

I know I have not yet written a blog about the parents or my perspective on thier life or parenting tactics and thus Im sure people might think im peachy on the issue and its not the case. I just feel so helpless and sorry for the girls because I can always try to instill honestly, trush and respect in them but with weeks or working on it, it has always been underminded in one moment when their parents do or say something.

It sounds like I dont like Sara and David, and this isn't the case they are both great people and honestly mean good and I honestly think they think they are doing good. They work very hard for the money they have and this is very important to them so they can give their girls the best school (which Livy got into and will start in Sept... costing roughly 10,000 quid a year!), extra curriculars and opportuinties. I just believe that money isn't everything and everyone I know arent 'rich' and we all turned out fine and you can have all the money in the world and still be a bad or unhappy person, and I fear this for the girls.

This week has been hard for me, and whenever I have a hard week I start thinking about my situation and this is how this entry came about.

I feel like not many people really understand the life im living over here, I love it for the place and expereinces but it is very hard and at times (like this week) it takes its toll on me...

I shouldnt have to questions why do I even bother trying?

LOVE LOVE LOVE
have a great weekend
I LOVE MY FAMILY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD <3 I LOVE YOU!