Anaylsis This

Some of you know that this week has been pretty bland in my life and so I've been thinking a lot of what I have gotten myself into; this mean making observations, and diving into some personal growth and understanding (you can just start calling D.Phil if you wish). None the less I have come to some conclusions about families.

Its quite interesting to watch from the sidelines of how a family functions... kind of like being a fly on the wall. I think that when your in a family you don't necessarily see how it functions, your so caught up within it that you get a false perception. With me playing the role of the fly it really make me think about what it would be like if someone was dropped into my family and all the little opinions they would create.

Its crazy when I think about it, I got up and left a life that had just gotten to a place that felt confortable, a place of love, happiness and familiarity. Nothing was wrong with what I had but yet I felt the need to spice it up and see the world. Now if I'm giving the the impression that I'm second guessing my decision that is not he case, I am just anaylsising it. With being thrown into this new world I haven't had much time to take a step back and look at what I have done and what I'm doing, I was in a survival state and now that this is becoming 'comfortable' I am able to looked at the good and bad. I am still boggled how one day I was sitting in my room on the computer playing around on aupairworld.com progressed into a conversation with mom in the living room about moving to England has now progessed full round into me being in London, England. I still have to stop and tell myself on a daily basis when I get emo as to what I'm doing I say it over and over in my head London, England. I have this one spot that I see on the way home from Isabellas nursary that makes me think... this is why I came here. The walk to her nursary is on a hill downwards towards our house and walking home from nursary your on the top of the hill looking down and you see a beautiful landscape with houses on both sides. It seems so simple but Im so grateful for it being there because it give me that little reminder on a daily basis that even in the harder times it is all worth it. And that the things that I'm missing back home will always be there for me and that i'm doing this for a reason.

I think that I need to step back and take the flys perspective on my own life, because right now althought on paper I am living my dream of travelling Europe, living in England and gaining independance I still am jealous of the basic K-Dub life you all call boring because you have the simple things we take for granted like dirrty Phils, the P.T., and each other. So take this emo blog message and appricate and love you life there :)

Even thought I'm sounding emo right now tomorrow is Friday and my weekend is coming and that is what I live for... and I know like all other weekends this one won't let me down and I will have a least one moment where I stop and think "wow this is exactly why i'm doing this" and it will hold me over until the next weekend.

But I should actually stop bitching because today when I was having a bad day, strangely enough Livy was the one who turned it around, so i'm done my rant... dont get worried about me from I think I wrote it just to makes all of us appriacate what we have instead of always desiring what others have.

Thanks to everyone who I've talk to this week <3
Love.