Bittersweet Conclusion

Hello Everyone!

I write to you today without knowing if this will be my last blog post of not. The family is out and I have spend my morning packing up my final bits and pieces. I am half in shock and half functioning to get everything in order that needs to be done before I head out on vacation next thrusday. Every time I force myself to be proactive I end up stopping and having mini freak out sessions. I am ever so excited to say hello to everyone but it will be very sad to say goodbyes as well. I wrote my cards to Matildas girls and Olivia yesterday and I found myself crying because although a few months back I wanted nothing more than to leave Olivia, over the last month we have really truely become friends and I feel very horrible about leaving her - I know its not abandonment but that is what it feels like to me. I am also paranoid that I will return to Canada and kick myself in the ass for not doing something one last time but Rita and I are doing everything we can to make sure that doesnt happen this weekend. Getting ready for vacation can be stressful but packing up life and getting ready for vacation and saying goodbyes are all a lot for me to handle right now. I have three more days with the girls and since school is out they are 12 + hour days so Im excited for that, but I am equally dreading Wednesday. After today all my buisness will be in order, I will have closed down my bank account, printed off my tickets and oraganized rides so I am organized and physically prepared but its the mentally aspect that has been challenging me. Im neverous I am going to cry infront on the girls and I dont want that happen... I have told them both now that Im leaving and asked Livy to help Bell understand but I dont want her to think that I've just disappeared. You have seen what is going on in my head, well the worries anyways and Im assuming you all know what Im excited about hahaha SEEING YOU!!!

I cant wait in estatic - but it sucks that the goodbyes have to come first :(
If I dont write again, Ill see you all in THREE WEEKS <3
xx